8 Great Tips for Couples Counseling in Denver, Colorado
Couples counseling is a place where partners can stand on neutral ground and learn to see each other in a different light. Whether you’ve been struggling against a negative cycle for years or only recently started having trouble, we offer couples counseling services for everyone in Denver, Colorado and beyond!
Below are some of our best tips for couples struggling in their relationship. These can help you learn how to communicate better, reconnect and honor the bond that you’ve built together.
1. Set Some Ground Rules
First and foremost, there have to be boundaries in every relationship. A lack of boundaries from either partner leads to an ongoing pattern of pain. Left unvoiced and unforgiven, this leads to a build-up of resentment and even attempts to get “revenge” on one another.
Openly set rules for your communication. What types of words can you use? What is off-limits? How should you speak to each other? What volume of your voice indicates it’s time to step back, no questions asked?
Ground rules help you operate from a place of respect, and they establish the safety and security couples need to be authentic and vulnerable with one another.
2. Mindfully Practice Intimacy
You may feel distanced from your partner but not know how to bridge the gap. If you’ve been together for a while, it’s natural for physical intimacy and its many expressions to change. In some cases, it may disappear altogether. Let your partner know that you miss them and want to feel close to them again.
Start practicing mindful acts of intimacy, like holding hands, hugging more and cuddling each night. If sex is an issue in your relationship, have an honest conversation about what you would like and what your partner needs from you.
3. Ask What Your Partner Needs
So many of us run in circles trying to please our partners, all the while never really asking what they expect from us in the first place. If you aren’t voicing your needs to your partner, how can you get angry when they don’t fulfill them? You may also be asking too much from a partner, expecting them to meet needs that really need met by yourself.
In any relationship, being open about your needs and desires builds trust and fosters intimacy. It is fundamental to keeping your connection open and staying in sync with one another.
4. Address Personal Issues
If you struggle with pain from past relationships, childhood trauma or mental illness, it can drastically impact your relationship. You may feel guilty for subjecting your partner to your problems, or you could rely too heavily on them instead of healing yourself.
Be honest about your struggles, and reach out to a therapist who can help. In addition to couples counseling, individual therapy is a wonderful way to heal and grow.
5. Schedule Counseling
We offer in person as well as virtual couples counseling to help partners work through challenges when it’s most convenient for them. Scheduling an appointment with a trained therapist can be the start of a new chapter in your relationship. Having a neutral third-party guide you through issues can be the doorway you need for lasting positive change.
6. Remember to Have Fun
Relationships are meant to be fun. Your partnership should be a source of amusement, joy and positivity in your life. Between parenthood, work and other responsibilities, many partners forget that they are also meant to be friends. Start doing things you love just because you can; that’s what being in love is all about.
7. Stop Trying to “Win”
When you have a mindset focused on “winning” arguments, you immediately distance yourself from your partner. Instead of feeling like a unified team, it’s you versus them. Seeing each other as an opponent to defeat never leads to a positive outcome. Instead of trying to be right, shift your mindset to asking how you can both be happy.
8. Learn to Honor Your Partner’s Story
One of the biggest hurdles in a relationship comes from accepting the fact your partner is not who you want them to be. The beauty of this struggle is that you can learn to finally love and accept them for who they truly are and vice-versa. From their childhood to past relationships, there are many pieces of your partner’s story that have shaped them into who they are today.
A healthy relationship encompasses each person’s whole story without erasing any parts of their unique identities. By honoring your partner’s past, you become more accepting and receptive in the present.
Connect With a Couples Therapist in Denver, CO
Healing your relationship requires healing yourself, too. There will be both highs and lows in your journey together, and the right strategies can help you celebrate the good times more fully and grow through your challenges.
To learn more about our services or schedule a couples counseling appointment, please contact us or call us at 720.314.7378.