Tricks to Becoming More Confident
When it comes to confidence, the old adage, “Fake it till you make it,” may actually work. Confidence is not feeling 100-percent right or certain all the time. In fact, some of the most confident people are those who are willing to try new things, make mistakes and persevere in the wake of failure. They don’t see setbacks as signs of their worthlessness. Instead, they tackle challenges head-on and are eager to learn from their shortcomings.
If you want to become more confident, there are a few tricks you can try to begin feeling more empowered today. If confidence has been a struggle throughout your life, you may consider reaching out to one of our Denver, CO therapists. Together, we can address where your lack of confidence comes from and start developing strategies to build greater self-esteem.
Strike a Power Pose
Did you know that body posture plays a major role in how you feel as well as how others perceive you? Psychologist Amy Cuddy revealed in a TedTalk that standing in an empowering pose can boost your feelings of confidence. You may feel awkward or a little silly at first, but the pay-off is worth it. You’ll find yourself feeling more confident each time you try this exercise.
- • Stand in front of a mirror and position your feet roughly shoulders-width apart.
- • Put your hands on your hips, and raise your head.
- • Lower your shoulders to release any tension, and hold your gaze.
- • Hold for 2 minutes.
Identify Your Struggles
Remember Personal Achievements
Our emotions aren’t limited to the present. Recalling previous moments we stood up for ourselves or felt empowered can make us feel more confident here and now. You may think about a time you gave a great presentation at work or overcame your fear of heights by getting on a roller coaster. Whatever the situation, reflect on your strengths and know that you still have that within you.
Make Eye Contact
Holding eye contact in conversation can make a person appear much more confident. Women who struggle with confidence issues may find themselves assuming a closed-off posture, avoiding eye contact and limiting their self-expression. If you find yourself doing this, open up by uncrossing your arms, straightening your back and looking people in the eyes when you’re talking to them. Just make sure you don’t get so focused on holding eye contact that it becomes awkward.
Do some grooming to make yourself feel better. When you think you look good, you naturally feel more confident engaging with others. Whether you decide to get your eyebrows waxed or paint your nails, small gestures of self-care can give you a much-needed confidence boost. The secret is to focus on qualities you find desirable about yourself. It’s not about appealing to others but rather looking good in your eyes on your own terms.
Swap Comparisons With Compliments
People you want to emulate do not have to make you feel bad about yourself. Instead of seeing a picture of someone and thinking, “She looks so good, I wish I could be like that,” or “She speaks her mind so freely, I could never do that,” flip the script. Identify elements of others that you admire, and then encourage yourself to follow suit. Complimenting others makes us feel better about ourselves. You don’t have to dole out insincere sentiments, just take a note of when you’re feeling jealous or comparing and mentally praise someone instead.
You can also practice this tip on yourself. Rather than looking in the mirror and wishing you had a better body, compliment your features. Your appearance is what you make of it, and perception is the largest factor that influences our self-confidence.
How Confidence Issues Hold Women Back
Aggressive. Overbearing. Bossy. Controlling. All these terms have been used to bring down confident women and make them feel inferior to their male peers. In the workplace, women have been afraid to speak up for fear of stepping out of line. This often comes at the expense of receiving credit for their ideas, earning promotions they deserve and being fully recognized for their talent and skills.
In their personal life, women who struggle with confidence may routinely settle for partners who treat them poorly or even lower their expectations to avoid being rejected. Self-confidence affects everyone differently, but the unique struggle that women face can have a major impact on their life and happiness.
Why Do Women Have Low Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem affects everyone regardless of their sex or gender identity. But women have been historically plagued by greater struggles with their self-image and confidence than their male counterparts. Part of this may stem from a cultural fixation on the female body and role. Rather than being encouraged to express themselves freely and live however they want, women have been told what is “proper” or “ladylike” and encouraged to follow a linear path. In many cultures, the idea that being desirable is more important than being self-realized and happy still persists.
There is also a stigma that all women have low self-esteem, which may perpetuate a problem that doesn’t even exist. Even this belief can cause women to feel like they are less confident than they really are.
What Does Your Confidence Look Like?
Rather than grouping all women together, individual counseling approaches the person for who they are. While being a woman influences your experiences, your confidence is entirely based on what you think and feel about yourself. Factors such as your relationships, family life, upbringing and current belief systems all play a role in how confident you feel you can be.
Some women latch onto the idea of having low self-esteem and keep themselves small. This can be a useful defense mechanism for someone who has anxiety or does not know how to assert themselves. Rather than feeling the constant stress and struggle, they can shrink into the background and avoid tension.
Of course, this never leads to long-term happiness. The good news is that even a lifetime of confidence issues can be helped through therapy.
Are you tired of being told how you should feel, or what confidence is supposed to look like? You do not have to live life by anyone’s standards but your own. If that sounds too good to be true, therapy could help you realize your full potential.
Through personal counseling, you can begin to unravel your self-confidence struggles and replace them with more affirming thoughts. Building genuine confidence, but anyone can do it if they are willing to believe in themselves. Learning how to persevere through your own self-doubt is one of the greatest achievements you can discover through therapy.
Find a Denver therapist near you by contacting us at Caring Heart Counseling. We are always here to listen and help you work toward becoming the greatest version of yourself