How to Support Your LGBTQ Friends
If your friend is part of the LGBTQ community, you likely want to show them all the love and support in the world. Whether you’ve always known or they recently came out, acknowledging and celebrating their identity is a great way to be a good ally. Sometimes, people who aren’t familiar with LGBTQ identities inadvertently offend their friends. They might go over the top with their support to the point it dehumanizes their friend or embarrasses them; they might tell them that being gay or transgender “doesn’t matter”, which unintentionally dismisses a core part of their life.
This guide will help you be a more supportive friend and create a more inclusive and accepting world for everyone.
Learn About Their Experience
Be open minded and willing to listen to your friend’s evolving experience as an LGBTQ individual. What have been their greatest sources of pride? What are their biggest challenges and fears? You can support your friend solely by being present and listening. You don’t need to fully understand their experience to be supportive. Just the act of being there can give your friend a much-needed sense of acceptance that so many LGBTQ people go without.
Do Not Sexualize Them
Your friend’s gender identity and sexual orientation are not oddities; as individuals, they are not educators or responsible for answering any and all questions you have about how sex and love works for someone who isn’t cisgender or heterosexual. Although you might genuinely be asking from a harmless position of curiosity, asking your friend questions about their sex life can dehumanize them and deny their body autonomy.
You also don’t want to imply through your questioning that there’s a right or wrong way to be intimate. Sex looks different for everyone, and it is a personal matter that isn’t immediately open to discussion just because someone identifies as LGBTQ.
Find Good Resources to Help Them
LGBTQ people are more likely to experience mental illness, prejudice and discrimination. Even as full-fledged adults with careers and a good support system, they may carry wounds from a non-supportive family or bad experiences from the past. You can help them by educating yourself and knowing what resources to direct them to if they ever need help. Local therapists and support groups that offer LGBTQ services can provide a safe space that’s understanding of your friend’s experiences and needs.
You can also educate yourself on some of the warning signs of poor mental health in your friend; identifying issues and reaching out to them when things are difficult can be life-saving.