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Online Counseling for the LGBTQ+ Community

The LGBTQ+ community experiences mental health problems more frequently than other populations. Anxiety, depression, body dysmorphia and many other symptoms are common, but there is a fear among people who need counseling that their therapist may not understand their experiences or approve of their identity. Online counseling during COVID-19 has made finding professional support easier and more convenient than ever; at Caring Heart Counseling, we offer virtual therapy to everyone, including affirming LGBTQ+ care.

What LGBTQ+ Therapy Looks Like
A therapist must understand that everyone’s culture, background and individualized experiences make their mental health unique. No two people experience depression the same, and it’s especially important for us to recognize the unique factors that impact an LGBTQ+ person’s mental well-being.

There is often what is known as a “dual stigma” among people in the LGBTQ+ community. In addition to being judged for their sexuality and/or gender identity, people also face the fear of ridicule for their mental health struggles. There are numerous challenges and emotionally charged experiences that arise as a LGBTQ+ person comes out to their family and learns to own their identity; online counseling can help you build a support system and begin to find strength as you work through your own difficulties.

Caring Heart Counseling does not see your LGBTQ+ experience as something to gloss over; we want to help you work through your thoughts and emotions surrounding your sexuality, gender and identity. Whether you are questioning or unsure how to accept yourself despite identifying as LGBTQ+, we are here to listen and support you.

Affirming, Non-Judgemental Counseling
Therapy is a safe space for everyone to share their thoughts and feelings. It can be especially intimidating for an LGBTQ+ person to reach out because they worry their therapist may not accept them for who they are. This is a valid concern, but we can assure you that every therapist at Caring Heart Counseling accepts, respects and affirms your identity.

It is our job to help you not only work through your unique LGBTQ+ experiences but also cultivate a life you find meaningful. This means finding ways to align your truest self with your highest potential, embracing your strengths, overcoming weaknesses and learning how to take power back from your worst experiences.

Whether you struggle with depression, anxiety, body image or just need someone to talk to, we are here to listen. Online therapy means you can access one of our counselors whenever you need them; we can arrange a phone call or set up an appointment via email. Our flexible hours and a variety of platforms make it easy for you to schedule counseling at a time that is most convenient and comfortable for you.

If you would like to learn more, please reach out and contact us today. We are more than happy to answer any questions you have about therapy and our LGBTQ+ counseling services. Together, we can determine whether Caring Heart is right for you and match you with the counselor best suited to your personality and needs.

Can Racial Trauma Cause PTSD?

Following the murder of George Floyd, America has been forced to address a long-standing history of racial injustice and discrimination. Many people have only just begun to listen, but the Black community has been speaking up for years. Now, they have a greater voice than ever, but with that attention comes an incredible amount of pressure. Emotional trauma from racial discrimination is finally being acknowledged, but where do you go to start healing?

Being Black in America is a stressful, anxiety-ridden experience on my fronts; parents fear for their children’s lives every day, and individuals experience shaming, ridicule and discrimination throughout life. Racial-based trauma can lead to a variety of mental health symptoms and conditions including depression, anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

What is Racial Trauma?
Black and POCI people have faced systemic injustices for centuries; cultural conditioning has resulted in hundreds of microaggressions that lead to chronic stress and anxiety. From fear of being pulled over and arrested unjustly or facing workplace discrimination or harassment, Black people have always been forced to live differently.

For LBGTQ+ and transgender Black people, the rate of discrimination and targeted attacks is even worse. In virtually every aspect of their life, ethnicity plays a factor in how they are treated, perceived and ultimately valued.

The result of this ongoing trauma includes physical and psychological effects, many of which share symptoms with PTSD. Hypervigilance, avoidance, anxiety attacks, flashbacks and nightmares are all common experiences that have been silenced for far too long.

At Caring Heart Counseling, we are committed to helping members of the Black community heal and grow from their experiences; we strive to use our own skills and platform as a voice for the underserved, and we want to not only help you overcome racial trauma but transform your pain into a powerful testament to the BLM movement.

How We Treat Racial Trauma
Social and cultural context are two of the most important aspects of addressing racial trauma. Even if you do not meet the diagnostic criteria for PTSD, your experiences are real, valid and deserve to be acknowledged for exactly what they are. We are here for you, and we want to help you find strength in your story.

Education is the cornerstone of our own treatment; we know that we have to learn and continue to amplify Black voices to become more understanding and empathetic therapists. Our entire team is committed to continually providing expert therapy and counseling to members of the Black community.

Together, we can work through this historic movement while resolving pain from the past and building hope for the future. Together, we will stand with you now and in the future with unlimited support, compassion and guidance.

Divorce Counseling During COVID 19

Divorce is often one of the most emotionally challenging experiences in a person’s life; coupled with the stress of Divorce is often one of the most emotionally challenging experiences in a person’s life; coupled with the stress of the coronavirus, coping with separation and the end of a marriage can be even more difficult. To end your relationship as peacefully as possible and gain the closure you need to move forward, you may consider online divorce counseling.

Why You Need Divorce Counseling
Whether your decision to separate was mutual or one-sided, the purpose of divorce counseling is to arrive at a place of mutual respect and understanding. Both partners in the relationship deserve a chance to share their experiences and leave their marriage with a sense of closure.

You can also choose to seek divorce counseling alone. While it can be helpful to have both spouses present, your decision to seek therapy is personal and can still be meaningful by yourself.

Divorce counseling can also help you honor your marriage and the love you once shared. You will be able to work through the loss, voice unspoken pain wounds and begin to heal. It is a place to cultivate acceptance and ultimately, peace.

Handling Emotions During COVID-19
Divorce during the coronavirus can also be accompanied by feelings of guilt; compared to those who are ill or grieving the loss of a loved one, you may feel like you are selfish for being so upset by your marriage ending. Divorce is hard, and the current pandemic doesn’t make it any less real or painful. In fact, it could make it even more difficult to cope with.

The time spent alone in quarantine can also increase feelings of loneliness and isolation; you may find yourself looking up your ex on social media, wanting to reach out to them or even attempting to rekindle the relationship despite your decision to separate. When you share friends and loved ones, it can be especially difficult to find the type of support you need.

Although the coronavirus has put many things into perspective, it does not mean we have to completely ignore our problems and repress our feelings. Right now, you hurt, and that is okay. Online counseling is one way you can reach out and find the connection and support you need to cope with this experience. Therapy can help you establish a new routine, close old chapters and start planning for the next stage of your life.

Please click here to learn more about our virtual counseling services. You can request an appointment with one of our therapists on this page.

Family Counseling During COVID-19

The coronavirus presents challenges not only to your personal mental health but the entire family. You or a partner may have lost your job; the stress of parenting during a pandemic coupled with health anxiety and financial troubles can cause us to withdraw, become emotionally detached and even argue with our loved ones far more than usual.

Social distancing means neither children nor parents have the opportunity to spend time with their friends. Without an outside support system, life can feel intensely confining. Everyone needs a healthy dose of personal space and independence, even children. Striking this balance amid stay-at-home orders may seem impossible, but with the right help, it can be done.

Whatever troubles you may face, our online family counseling services can help you resolve problems peacefully. We help the entire family learn how to communicate better, support one another and fulfill their unique role in the household.

Parenting During the Coronavirus
Most parents are accustomed to having their children in school during the day while they work. Now, you find yourself responsible for not only your child’s well-being but also their education. Although many schools provide daily virtual instruction, it can be difficult to establish reasonable boundaries and appropriate discipline.

Therapy can help parents learn how to address troublesome behaviors without losing their temper or damaging their relationships with their children; family counseling also provides children with an opportunity to share their thoughts and express feelings they may struggle to communicate on their own. This fosters a deeper sense of trust and understanding throughout the family.

Self-Care and Relationships
For couples who are quarantined together, finding time to care for themselves and nourish their relationship can be extremely challenging. On top of work, parenting and stress, quality time as partners may fall to the backburner. However, it is important to learn how to work together so challenges bring you closer together, not further apart.

Counseling offers a space to release feelings you have been holding onto without escalating into an argument. Therapists help couples learn how to focus on solutions, not problems. By sharing responsibilities, respecting each other’s need for self-care and scheduling time to be together, you can restore balance to your family and relationship.

Transition Anxiety
Children who struggle to transition from school to being at home constantly are likely to express their frustration or worry through misbehavior. Your once mild-mannered child could suddenly become argumentative and defiant; children with ADHD or autism spectrum disorder are particularly sensitive to change, so finding ways to help them adjust and regain a sense of balance is crucial.

Through online family therapy, one of our licensed counselors can help you begin to understand change and anxiety through your children’s eyes. They can also offer tips for your own mental health so you are able to be fully present and emotionally engaged through the uncertainty of COVID-19.

Distance Learning Support
Virtual family counseling addresses everything from major changes to the family unit to everyday struggles. As parents and children face what is likely to be a prolonged period of distance education, it is important to make virtual schooling easy and fun.

Children who are resistant to learning on a computer may be more responsive to different approaches. Tailoring education to their unique learning style can reduce defiant behaviors, improve attitudes and even foster excitement toward learning new things each day.

To learn more about our services or schedule an appointment, please contact us.

Relationship Counseling During COVID-19

Quarantine and COVID-19 pose unique challenges to couples; some may be finding it difficult to maintain personal boundaries and healthy communication as they quarantine together while others are feeling detached and disconnected due to social isolation. Relationships are not exempt from the added stress of coping with the coronavirus, but partners do not have to simply hope for the best and ignore their problems.

Relationship counseling online can bridge the distance of social isolation and connect couples with licensed therapists who can help them work through any challenges they’re experiencing.

How Relationships Are Impacted by the Coronavirus

Dating requires consistency, communication and a healthy dose of independence on both sides. Couples currently find themselves either separated by mandatory shelter-in-place orders or confined together in their living quarters with limited outside social contacts.

For even the closest couples, quarantining together can be difficult. Constantly being around one another can lead to more arguing, and the flare-up of mental health symptoms many are experiencing may put further strain on a relationship.

Some partners may feel helpless as their significant other’s anxiety and/or depression symptoms worsen. Others might not be sure how to express their desire for personal space without being offensive. There may be limited opportunity to separate and cool off before resolving arguments. Others may feel like their relationship is stagnating without the ability to go out and do things together.

On the other end of the spectrum, COVID-19 has led to social isolation that has many couples separated. Those in long-distance relationships may feel especially distraught as they have no definitive date when they can see one another again.

The stress of managing a relationship and life during the coronavirus makes online counseling and relationship therapy a beneficial tool to anyone who finds themselves struggling during this time.

What Relationship Counseling Can Do Today

No therapist has all the answers, and couples might even feel like they’re at a loss for help with physical offices closed. But online counseling for couples can be just as effective as in-person sessions. Couples can speak together or individually to a counselor about what they’re going through and work on developing solutions.

Online counseling provides the opportunity for couples to express thoughts and feelings they may not be able to articulate with their partner during regular conversation. A counselor knows how to ask questions that facilitate constructive dialogue and foster understanding.

Together, couples and individual partners can work with a counselor to learn how to support each other through COVID-19 and protect their relationship. To speak with a therapist or request an appointment, click here.

Telecounseling for Teens in Denver

Life as a teenager is tough. As they are beginning to develop their own values and figure out their identities, teenagers face a tremendous deal of stress during the final years of childhood. Many are already making decisions that will impact their future for years to come, which naturally comes with a great deal of stress that can trigger anxiety and depression. Adolescence is also the onset period for many mental illnesses.

Adolescent counseling can provide support and guidance to teens even amidst social distancing and the coronavirus.
Common Reasons Teens Attend Counseling

Many adolescents feel like they’re being “forced” to go to therapy by their parents who “think something is wrong with me.” But therapy is not a place designed to fix anyone, because no one is broken. People all have their own unique struggles, but we believe that our experiences are just that. They do not define us no matter how much they may impact us.

Teens can benefit from counseling if they are struggling to stay motivated in school, experiencing conflict at home or going through a difficult time. Trauma, anxiety and depression are common mental health conditions that teenagers can overcome with the help of a licensed professional.

The earlier a teenager gets help for whatever they’re going through, the greater the chance of a long-lasting recovery. Far too many people stay trapped in the shadows of stigma, longing for help but too afraid to get it. Whether you are a concerned parent or a teenager yourself, there is no shame in getting help. Counseling, either in person or online, can provide the tools and support necessary to heal and grow.

Signs Your Teenager Needs Counseling

Every parent worries about their child, but how do you know when your problems warrant professional help? Generally, when an issue is beyond your scope of understanding or has begun to cause serious disruptions to your family life or teen’s ability to function, it’s a good idea to speak with a counselor.

Certain behaviors pose a significant threat to your teen’s well-being, and they may indicate underlying mental health issues. For example:

• Substance abuse
• Angry outbursts
• Criminal activity
• Avoiding friends and family/sudden change in friends
• Changes in sleeping and/or eating habits
• Isolated, withdrawn attitude
• Dramatic changes in personality and behavior
• Talking or thinking often about death/self-harm

The later teenage years also mark the onset of mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Having an honest discussion with your teenager about any concerns you have can help them feel more comfortable opening up. Sometimes, teens just need to be reminded that people do care about them and want to listen.

Ways to Help a Struggling Teenager

You might often feel like your teenager is from an entirely different universe when they speak. Parents often wonder, “Was I like that to my parents?” when they begin to struggle to have even basic conversations with their adolescents. Teenagers are not speaking in code or generally going out of their way to be distant; they might be embarrassed or ashamed of what they’re feeling or even too afraid to confront it through a conversation.

Respect Boundaries

The best thing you can do as a parent is to be fully present without being overly persistent. The harder you push, the farther your teen will pull away. Offer to do activities with them that they enjoy. Even something as simple as eating dinner together or watching a movie can have an impact on a teen’s sense of support and security.

Don’t invade their privacy without any necessary reason to do so, but keep an eye on any concerning behaviors. You may want to check their social media accounts or internet history if you worry they might be engaging with harmful content or talking to strangers.

Keep Communication Focused on the Positive

Most importantly, let your child know that you love them and want to hear what they have to say. Teenagers often worry their parents will judge them, argue with them or even hate them for voicing their true feelings. Although you may not always like what you hear, you must respond to your teenager’s emotions with empathy and understanding. Use affirming statements during conversation such as, “That sounds really hard,” and “Thank you for sharing this with me.”

If you bring up the subject of therapy, let them know that getting professional help is a good thing, not a sign of failure or weakness. Ultimately, therapy is for your teenager to receive help and provide a safe space to disclose whatever they’re going through without fear of judgment. Therapy is a resource, not a punishment. It should never be leveraged as something needed to “fix” them or correct their behavior.

Telecounseling for Teens

We offer online therapy for teens with licensed counselors in the state of Colorado. Talking to a therapist online can be a good stepping stone for many teens, and it’s the best way to get support even during the coronavirus pandemic. To learn more about our services or to request an appointment, please click here.

How to Talk to Your Children About the Coronavirus

Talking to children about certain subjects is always a challenge, but for most cases, we have time to plan and prepare. The new coronavirus has thrown everything for a loop, and many parents are left grappling with all the sudden changes. During this hectic and uncertain period, it can be easy to get so caught up in our own anxieties that we forget to include our children.

Talking to your children about the coronavirus can help ease their anxiety, reduce stress and learn how to protect their own health. We’ve put together a few suggestions on how you can teach your children about COVID-19.

Don’t Hide Reality

Although you should disclose details that are appropriate for your child’s age level, even toddlers can understand there has been a disruption to the norm, and it’s not wrong to talk to them about it. In fact, introducing children to the topic early can help them start to build resilience. This is an opportunity for your child to understand there are things in life beyond their control, but they can adapt with support rather than cope with anxiety.

Avoiding a scary subject like the virus can actually heighten children’s concerns. After all, if their parents aren’t talking about it, it must be really bad, right? They are bound to see headlines on the TV or phone, overhear adults talking about COVID-19 and draw their own conclusions.

Help dispel worry by talking openly about the virus. You can find the best information on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website. There is also a free video by education site BrainPop that you can watch together and discuss.

Stay on Their Level

Children should be spoken to in a manner that is easy for them to understand. Keeping language developmentally appropriate can help prevent misunderstandings and greater confusion. A small child between the ages of 2 and 4 will likely be fine with a straightforward, two-sentence explanation such as, “A lot of people outside are getting sick right now, so we’re going to stay inside to keep ourselves healthy while the doctors do their jobs.”

Older children will likely prompt for greater detail; those who use the internet have likely come across articles and done some of their own reading already. Answer their questions as they come, but keep a positive mindset. Focus more on what you and your family can do, like self-isolating and washing your hands regularly. Anxiety stems from uncertainty and feelings of powerlessness; shifting your child’s attention to their ability to protect themselves and others will help alleviate discomfort.

Reassure Repeatedly

Let your child know that the coronavirus seems to affect children in less severe ways, and that if they practice good hygiene, they will most likely not catch it. Remind children that they have the ability to protect themselves and their family; talk about the right way to wash your hands, which is 20 seconds. A helpful way to remember is to sing the “Happy Birthday” song while they lather with soap and water.

Stick to a Routine

It can be helpful for both you and your children to follow your usual schedule as closely as possible; it should be business as usual when it comes to waking up, bedtime and getting dressed. Maintaining this semblance of normalcy will bring comfort and security to children as they adapt to the many changes going on around them.

Enjoy Family Time

While sticking with a routine, let you kids know that this is also a great opportunity to have some extra family time and to do some things that you typically wouldn’t be of a mind to do or wouldn’t feel like you had the time for. Create an extra movie/pizza night, game night, book night, or outdoor games challenge. Do some Go Noodle dances together. Sing karaoke! Have a Dude Perfect shot or bottle-flipping challenge. One family we know of created a tik tok dance together. There are so many ways to take advantage of this time.

A good combination of all the above will make this an easier time for your children, you as parents, and for all of you as a family.

At Caring Heart Counseling, we want to be here for you and your family during this challenging time. We offer virtual counseling with our therapists that you can access right from the comfort of your own home. To learn more, contact us today.

10 Tips for Working from Home During COVID-19

Millions of Americans are working home to help curb the outbreak of the coronavirus, but remote work takes some getting used to. For many of us, work is strictly at an office, so the distinction between work and play was as simple as coming home. Now that you’ll be spending most of your time indoors, it’s important to set yourself up for productivity to avoid burnout, overworking or too much procrastinating.

These 10 tips will help you adjust to working from home during COVID-19.

Get Dressed Everyday

Although it’s tempting to just wear your pajamas all day, getting dressed is one of the easiest ways to get yourself into “work mode.” The act of dressing yourself for work can help create a psychological division between relaxation and productivity.

Have Routine Breaks

It can be easy to slip into work at your desk or dining room table and completely lose track of time. Avoid this by taking your lunch break at the same time you normally do and getting up for at least 10 minutes every hour to stretch your legs.

Talk to Your Coworkers as Usual

You’ll need to communicate with your colleagues even more now that you aren’t physically able to check in with one another. Use Zoom, Slack and any other programs your company prefers as often as possible.

Turn Your Phone on Silent

Unless you need it on for work, ditch your cell phone during work hours. If you keep it by your desk, you’ll likely find yourself picking it up to scroll through Instagram or respond to text messages more often than you could at the office.

Avoid Social Media Rabbit Holes

Although it might be tempting to indulge what’s typically off-limits during the workday, social media can become a major distraction that ultimately lowers your work performance, which will increase stress.

Use Music to Limit Outside Distractions

Put in your headphones and turn on Spotify to drown out neighborhood noises and other distractions. Whatever you choose to listen to, make sure that it helps you focus and doesn’t unintentionally draw your mind away from the tasks at hand.

Set Boundaries Between Your Work and Home Life

It’s best to distance yourself from work and relaxation by avoiding any domestic tasks during the day. In other words, don’t stop working to do laundry, vacuum or wash the dishes. All of that can be taken care of after your shift is done for the day.

Get Plenty of Sun

Set up your workspace near a window, or take a walk outside if you can. Sunlight is a natural mood-booster, and staying close to nature will help you avoid cabin fever. If you do go out for a walk, remember to practice social distancing by staying at least 6 feet apart from others.

Set Small Goals

Some people may feel overwhelmed without the structure of their office and the presence of their coworkers to guide them. It’s okay if your workflow is thrown off, but you can make it through one day at a time by narrowing your responsibilities down to the most essential tasks.

Have an End-of-Work Ritual

When the workday is done, make sure you help “switch off” your brain by closing your laptop, changing into something more comfortable and doing something relaxing. Close your laptop, set your status as “away” in chats and avoid answering emails or doing anything off the clock.

Adjusting to working at home is a challenge, and you may find yourself more stressed, anxious or even depressed now that you aren’t able to go out every day. If that’s the case, we can help. Contact us today to learn more about our virtual therapy services during the coronavirus.

Investing In Therapy Part 1

We live in a culture of exchange. As we make our way in this ever-changing world of ours, we are frequently asking ourselves, is it worth it? Is it worth my time? Is it worth my money? These precious commodities are of such high value that we use them in the creation of our template to evaluate the worth of every new endeavor. Dr. John Demartini offers great insight on this topic in his book, Inspired Destiny. A primary thesis of his book is that we consistently make choices according to our highest values. When we discover what these are, we are then equipped to operate in the world doing what we love while positively impacting others. ¹  Moreover, when we are hesitant to financially invest in a process such as therapy, it is often because we are unable to see how it is related to what we value most.

I believe that committing to our own healing process is one of the most valuable decisions we will ever make. But I’d like you to decide that for yourself. This blog series is dedicated to supporting you as you consider the financial investment of therapy alongside all of the other investments in your life.

In part 1, we’ll let ourselves be honest about the initial hiccup people run into when they consider therapy as an isolated expense without considering the invaluable long-term gains. We’ll also consider the cost in light of other products and services we spend money on. Finally, we’ll end by looking at therapy as an investment in the future. In part 2 of this blog series, we’ll take a closer look at some of the long-term gains that make the therapy process a smart investment.

THE HICCUP

A typical consultation call starts like this:

Me: “Hi, this is Lindsay Quella Kara. I just wanted to return your call. Is this a good time to talk for a few minutes?”

Client: “Yes, actually. I just got home and am putting dinner on the stove.”

Me: “Awesome. Thanks for taking some time. In the next 15 minutes or so, I’d like to hear a little bit more about what’s going on in life right now that’s motivating you to seek counseling. I’d also like to share with you a little bit about my practice and what you can expect.”

The call continues (10 minutes later)…

Me: “It sounds like we may be a good fit for each other. I do have experience helping clients in this area and would be open to talking about this more with you during our intake session.”

Client: “Sounds great. Yes, I’m eager to get started because I’ve heard therapy can be helpful and I think it’s time.”

The call moves to logistics…

Me: “There are a couple of other pieces I’d like to discuss before we get started. My sessions are typically about 50-55 minutes in length. My rate is $150 per session, and I am available Sunday-Thursday. How does that sound to you?”

And….

Client: Silence.

When I speak with a new individual for the first time, often there is an incredible resonance. They are looking for help navigating life stressors. They are typically more resourced than they give themselves credit for. And they have often encountered more challenges than others will acknowledge. Whether they are navigating life stressors, healing traumas, strengthening relationships, or looking for assistance to help their children, I trust that they have reached out for a reason. I also trust that if we both agree about the terms of our work together, we may see some pretty neat things happen. As we begin to genuinely connect, I map out what they can expect in my practice as this creates a sense of grounding for us both. I try to explore how therapy may help them get to where they want to go.

Prospective clients are usually on board until it comes to finances. The therapy process is an investment of time and money that not everyone wants to commit to. After all, we live in a culture that prioritizes what is fast and easy. Personal transformation is just not typically that way. As I interact with individuals and families craving change in their lives, I frequently hear a sentiment related to the cost being too high. There is an implication that the cost may exceed the value and there is a great deal of uncertainty about whether to dive in. This is understandable and something we all have to be mindful of as we weave together the many facets of our lives. 

THE COMPARISON

I’ll save a deeper discussion of the inherent value of therapy for part 2. But just for a moment, I invite you to consider how much the counseling process costs in light of other expenses in daily life.

An adult individual may spend…

$5 on coffee

$10 going to the movies

$25 on gas for their car

$40 on a haircut

$75 on a dinner for two

$88 on a monthly yoga membership

$200 on new clothes

$450 on Christmas gifts

$1,500 on one month of rent in Denver

$2,200 on a week vacation

$3,000 on an unexpected medical expense

$18,000 for a small car

$35,000 for a down payment on a small home

$110,000 to complete a college degree

(This is just a snapshot of some of the expenses a person may have. If you’re thinking of a whole family, you may as well multiple a few of these ongoing expenses by four or five.) 

THE INVESTMENT

If someone attends weekly therapy for six months, they will spend $3,900.

A year of therapy- a year of healing, integrating, learning, growing….costs less than most of the items we readily purchase. Furthermore, while cars break down, jobs change, living spaces evolve… the work that someone does in therapy stays with them forever. It is their journey, their healing process. The skills that are learned can be applied to every life situation, in every context. The investment is temporary and the returns are far reaching.

For example, consider a five-year-old who participates in play therapy for six months. In that short amount of time, he will have opportunities to learn skills that will help him navigate challenges at school, home, and community settings. He will have opportunities to repattern his nervous system, to discover how to solve tangible problems, and learn how to communicate his needs. This will create a foundation he will use on an ongoing basis.

Consider also a couple who have experienced significant transitions and loss. In the context of therapy, they will work on integrating the loss, allowing the grief process to move through their bodies, and make meaning of their experience together. There will be opportunities for reconnection, repair, differentiation and learning. Investing in this process has the potential to influence how they turn to one another for the rest of their life.

Finally, consider a young adult who is trying to figure out where she wants to go in life. As she engages the therapy process, she will actually be engaging herself, interacting with her story, and solidifying her identity. She will have the opportunity to understand her life narrative in a clear and cohesive way. She will be guided through a process, creating self-awareness that can never be taken away.

If you are considering starting therapy, I invite you to look at the investment of therapy in the context of all of the other ways you spend your time and money. Consider not only the tangible costs, but also the intangible gains. Consider how the therapy process and the investment required may align with your highest values. Perhaps after reflecting, you’ll decide to move forward with therapy. I hope you do. It is possible (even probable) that your therapy process may become an experience worth every penny.

Lindsay Quella Kara Lam, MA, NCC, LPC

Lindsay is a Licensed Professional Counselor, Nationally Certified Counselor, and student in the 2019 Synergetic Play Therapy Certification Program. Lindsay is proud to offer her gifts as a contracted therapist at Caring Heart. Lindsay is co-owner of Voice Hands Heart- a holistic business offering integrative wellness to the communities in Denver and Boulder.

(Endnotes)

1. Demartini, John. Inspired Destiny: Living a Fulfilling and Purposeful Life. (CA: Hay House Inc., 2010).

I Think My Friend Needs Help. How Do I Get Him Or Her To See A Counselor?

For whatever reason, even in this day and age, there is for many people a stigma around therapy. It seems a bit strange to us therapists, because we think therapy is great! Regardless, many feel that going to therapy must be a sign of weakness, failure, being completely lost, innately flawed, or just plain crazy. And, of course, this is simply not the case.

Going to therapy for strength, healing, clarity, discovery, personal development, and growth is one of the most courageous and wise things any of us can do. So, very simply, take that stance with your friend. Share with them your positive view of counseling and your appreciation of their courage. If you have ever been to see a counselor, tell them about your experience in therapy. And help resource them by sharing potential referrals. More than anything, we want to know that we are not alone.

So, if you have ever struggled in similar ways as your friend, be vulnerable and tell them about it. If your relationship has a degree of authenticity and vulnerability, offer to be a supportive friend by making yourself available for processing outside of counseling. And keep in mind that people will not go to therapy if they are really not ready. And pushing too hard or trying to force them to go to therapy does not usually work very well. Even if they end up going to counseling, the work will not be very effective if they are not ready to engage in the therapy process.

Lastly, keep in mind that people are responsible for their own lives and must ultimately take full responsibility for the changes they want and need to make. Treating someone who is struggling like they are helpless is not usually helpful. People are generally stronger and more resilient than we think. Reflect the strengths you see in your friend and compassionately encourage them. Then, just follow this up with support.